Water Weekend

I had a great weekend.
I got up early Saturday morning to go sailing. After a few hours on Lake Ontario, we headed back to land for thawing, drinks, and dinner. The whole crew felt like we had just had a massage, it was so relaxing (if a bit cold).
Sunday morning, Wife’s alarm clock went off as she was getting up for church. I opened one eye, and asked “I’ve got a lot of stuff to do today, but think maybe I should go sailing instead. What do you think?” Wife answered “go sailing.” And so I did. Five more hours on a C&C 29, with VERY gusty conditions. I bought brand-new sailing gloves last week with lots of leather in the palm. After riding the mainsheet for a couple of hours, there’s a line worn out in the leather, where the rope was! I think they’re already more worn out than the pair I wore all last summer! But that’s a good thing, it means I got my money’s worth on the boat.  It was great to spend time with friends, it was great to spend time on the boats. 


I’m heading back out on the water Thursday night, and then next week the regular season starts.


“If you need to, need to reach me, you can find me, this is where I’ll be…”

Reminder

This morning, I overheard someone talking on their cellphone.

"I can't do that day, it's Mother's Day," the stranger said.
"Oh," I thought.  "I should remember that - I can send her something on time for once."

And then I remembered that she's dead, and it made me quite sad.

Evening Options

Last night was the Annual General Meeting at our new Co-op.

Wife and I had planned to go – part of our reason for joining a co-op was to take part in the management and get a sense of community. Last week we were given a copy of the agenda and the minutes from 2011’s meeting. We discovered that the major point of the evening would be to debate changing our cable TV subscription. Specifically whether to remove a feature which we don’t use, which would lower the monthly cost by $1 per household.

Last night was also the first night in a week that Wife and I had together. She’s been working a lot of evenings, and/or I’ve been busy with other obligations. Given that we see so little of each other, we were not about to sacrifice our time together to debate an annual savings of $12. Instead, we stayed home, ate a massive tray of nachos, watched the latest episode of MadMen and started on Alcatraz. Alcatraz has been recommended to me by a few people, but I just couldn’t get into it. I love the history of the prison, probably due to my father letting me watch “Escape From Alcatraz” every time it was on the Late Great Movies when I was a child. However the premise of the TV show, combined with the cinematography and writing, sucked. I’m not surprised it’s been cancelled after one season.

All in all, it was a good evening. A few hours curled up together on the couch was just what we needed. Sitting in uncomfortable chairs for a few hours debating savings worth less than the meeting timespan was not.

It’s Just Not Working Out

Last week I was really worn out.  I went to the gym once in the five workdays.

Monday I was busy and couldn’t make it.

Tuesday I had a last-minute lunch meeting.  I also had a fat beefy/beer dinner last night at a local pub with friends.

Today I’m going to a pub lunch with another old friend.

Thursday I have a lunch meeting.

Friday I may go to the gym.

I’m not doing myself any favours here – I had abs briefly, but I can already see the definition disappearing…

Not My Friend

There’s a guy I have known for around 25 years. We had been close friends as teenagers, close enough that my family considered him one of us, and he thought of my parents as his. In my early 20s, when I left our small town and moved to Toronto, we lost touch. After a couple of years, there was a knock on my apartment door one evening – it was him! My old friend! We spent a few weeks visiting each other, but things were different somehow.

One night, he phoned me. “You’re a good guy, but we’re different now. I’m uncomfortable with the ‘gay thing’, and don’t think the relationship is really worth working past it.” That was it, the big fuckyou. I wasn’t particularly upset, I don’t regret losing bigots from my life. I went to sleep, I woke up the next day, I went on with my life quite happily.

Around a decade later (after I had come out as bisexual, not gay, and married a woman), he tried to get back in touch. He was lonely, his life hadn’t succeeded like he’d expected. I kept him at arms length, but politely. I agreed to meet for drinks once or twice a year, but the plans always fell through. This went on for around 5 years.

When my mother died this past winter, I phoned him. I felt it was important that he know, as she had been an important parental figure to him. He was really upset, I think he was even more upset than me. Maybe he also had the ‘surprise’ factor as he didn’t realize how quickly she was dying. After the funeral, a few close friends of the family went to a pub. He came with us. He managed to be completely creepy, and offended at least ½ the table. Still an ignorant bigot, but I don’t think he even realized that he was in the wrong. At various points in the evening, he was telling me how bad his life was. His family life is a constant fight, he has no friends, etc etc etc…

In some ways I feel bad for him. But there’s another side of me that wants to say “get fucked – you can’t do what you did and come back thinking nothing’s wrong!” I have even less time in my life these days than I did 15 years ago, and many more people I’d like to share that time with. So I don’t want to be his “pity friend.” But I’m also not interested in being combative and reminding him of what he did to me so long ago.

Missing, Assumed...?

For the last few days, Toronto’s top headline has been that 18-yearold Michelle Yu has disappeared.  Scary, and I would NOT want to be part of a family worrying about her.  She went to school on Thursday, and wasn’t around when she was supposed to be picked up that afternoon.

The immediate response from my coworkers was concern, especially those of Chinese heritage.  Some posted “have you seen her” pics on Facebook, and we all assumed she had been abducted.  Over the weekend, she apparently contacted her family and is safe in Vancouver.  That’s all that we’ve heard in the news so far.  But apparently she’s safe.

I was thinking – 20 years ago when I was her age, I think my first idea would have been that she had ran away.  When I was a few years younger than her, I tried it a couple of times.  Assuming she’s a late bloomer (parents take her to school, pick her up…), not ready to simply move out of the house, running away is still a likely option.  Instead, NOBODY seemed to think this was likely.  We all assumed the worst.

I know it’s better to react as if something bad has happened – this way if it’s true then the response could be serious enough to save her life.  But it’s unfortunate that we all seem to expect the worst now.  Anyway, I’m glad she seems to be safe.  The last thing this world needs is yet another psychopath taking someone away.

God, am I an old man looking back wistfully on the past?

Boat Friday

Sailing season is starting soon, and I’m getting excited.

Tomorrow I’m going down to the club to step the masts and tune the rigging, as the sailboats were splashed into the water this week. It’ll be good to see those sailing friends again, as well as learn how to set the boats up. I missed it last year as I didn’t take my introductory course until May. Then, sailing season starts in a week!

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m a big fan of Nordhavn yachts. They’re ocean-crossing motorboats, and one of only 3 or 4 brands that are strong and stable enough to do this. Luxurious and tough, they appear to be a beautiful (if slow) way to travel the world. Unfortunately this quality comes at a price – their cheapest model, bought new, is around a million dollars.

I’ve never even seen one of these boats in person, but have been fascinated by them for a few years now. The other day, I was invited to crew on one that’s being moved from Lake Superior down to the Caribbean Sea. The owner is looking for a couple of bodies to stand watch for the Great Lakes/ St. Lawrence River segment of the journey, and through our internet networking I was asked to take part.  Two weeks of living onboard a luxury yacht, piloting it for 1/3 of the time? Sounds exciting!

Unfortunately flying into where the boat is now is quite costly. More than I can afford. The train back home afterwards is a drop in the bucket, but the flight into the USA is the deal-breaker. To be honest, after a year of sailboating, where you’re constantly trimming the sails and steering, pushing ‘Go’ on the autopilot and half-heartedly keeping an eye out for water traffic doesn’t seem particularly exciting. I’m actually worried that I’d be bored after a day or two. I reluctantly turned down the offer, it’ll have to remain a “what-if” for now.

Note:  The boat in this photo, Honu Kai, is not the one i was asked to crew, but the same model.  This one is for sale, asking price $1.2 million (used).  Photos can be found here, feel free to drool.