Mental Flactulence

Last week I was in a wine store.  They had a sign by the cashier that read “Blind Tasting.”  My mental image was of a line of blind people being licked and compared.  It took me a second or two to realize that it really meant tasting wines without knowing the brand.

The other day I was lurking through Facebook, and came across the name Jane Dickeybird*. 

Jane was a girl that I lived with from 2000 until 2002.  While I never proposed to her, I once bought her a diamond ring without realizing the connotation.  I think she was actually disappointed when I told her it wasn't an engagement ring.  She was nasty though, after we broke up I was told that she was horribly rude to most of my friends.  They were too polite to tell me at the time...

When I saw Jane’s name on Facebook, my first thought was “wait a minute – I didn’t marry her too, did I?  Nope, Evil Ex and Wife are the only 2 spouses I’ve had.  She’s not crazy enough to have changed her name is she?”  No she isn’t, or at least as far as I know.  Jane Dickeybird is a friend of a friend, and just happens to have the specific name that my ex-girlfriend would have if we had stayed together.

My brain seems to be going wonky.  I’m misunderstanding things that should be fairly straightforward.  I’m catching my follies pretty quickly, but I don’t think they’re supposed to happen like this.  Or maybe they do and most people just don’t verbalize it?

*name changed to protect the innocent, aka ME.  And I have a pretty rare surname.