Tuesday, June 21, 2011


You're coming across the pond in October. And I see that you've got four days off between New York and Cleveland. Will there be a Toronto detour on this tour?

I'm watching you, Mr. Ferry...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Family Update

Yesterday I called my dad to wish him a happy Father's Day.

My brother answered the phone, and we chatted for a few minutes. Surprisingly, he then handed the phone to my mum. She sounded really healthy, happy, and lucid. She asked how I was doing, what I was doing, and how OLK's acting career was going (awesome, she'll be playing Mrs.Crazy on a TV near you quite soon). Within a few minutes, her hearing started to slip. Another minute later and she started advising me that if I had anything important to say that I should tell my brother and he'd write it down for her. She repeated the suggestion 5 or 6 times within as many minutes. Then, thankfully, she put my dad on the line.
After a short conversation with him, my mum shouted that she urgently needed to talk to me. Back on the line, she told me to prepare for some bad news: "Your brother is dead. He passed away yesterday."

I could hear him in the background saying "I'm not dead - I'm right here!" Then she got confused, wondering who had died. I tried suggesting that perhaps she got my brother mixed up with Clarence Clemons, but my joke really didn't help. Then she laughed uncomfortably, and cackled "Sorry, your mother is going crazy."

I was glad to end that phone call.
I've read that one of the most painful aspects of Dementia is that the victim shows signs of lucidity and improvement. This gets your hopes up right before they come crashing down again. Still, at least I got a few minutes with her...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Racing, But Not

Racing last night was a little anti-climactic. It was my first time as a member of the new crew, and I was determined to not let the side down. I had to pull the main halyard to the point where my right arm is aching badly and I'm popping T2s like candy.
This is a 'low-end' club, and not all the boats are equal. To make it fair, the sailboats are rotate between teams each week. This was our week on the crap boat. Our goal for the night was not to come in last. And in that we succeeded - first race had us in 2nd Last Place.
Our second race got cancelled midway through, when the wind completely disappeared for over 30 minutes. It was demoralizing, but again we weren't (quite) at the back of the pack.

It wasn't racing, so much as floating with an intended destination...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I have been sailing for 6 weeks now.

I have nipped off the tip of my thumb in a cam cleat.
I have slipped (thanks to a bad helmsman) and landed on a winch that left a 4'-diameter black circle on my thigh for 3 weeks.
I have jammed something metal under my thumb. It came out, but bled like a m***erf***er.
I have been hit in the head by the boom at least 8 times. Last night, something echoed. Unsure if it was the boom or my skull.

Still, I'm getting quite good. I've been asked to join a competetive racing team, and have my first race tonight. I'm at "the club" 2 or 3 nights a week, and enjoying the members, the sailing, and the $2 beers… (hic).

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Marriage #1. Day 256. 
February 28, 2007. Evening. Nowhere, Ontario.
Wife and I are shouting at each other. I'm so angry that I'm sitting on my hands, uncomforable with my urges as I look at that ugly mouth. That sneer curled with hate and anger, shouting and insulting. I picture putting my fist through it, and that scares me.
Instead, I slide off my wedding ring, slam it down on the table, and shout "Shut the f**k up, it's done." I had realized that the marriage counselling wasn't working, the wife wasn't trying, and I was about to hit a woman for the first time in my life. So I dropped the bomb. Dead silence followed.
I stood up, walked out to the garage for a cigarette, and enjoyed the quiet.

Marriage #2. Day 256. 
June 8, 2011. Evening. Toronto, Ontario.
Wife and I are walking home from her play. I'm so proud of her. In the last 3 days, her and a writing partner have written, directed, and performed a 10-minute clown skit. We're walking down King St in the summer heat, holding hands and discussing where one's clown originates, and critiquing the other performances that night.
In this relationship, we haven't had a fight with 10% of the fury involved with the dozens in Marriage#1.

This is what a marriage is supposed to be.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Goodbye Sir

Jack Kevorkian passed away today. Whether one believes in his ideals or not, it takes courage and conviction to stick to your guns on the issue of assisted suicide. Especially as a physician.
And for the record, I agree with his intent (surprise surprise). If I'm ever at the point of a terminal, painful, illness, end me.


What a morbid week.  My last 2 posts promoting death... wow.  I'm glad it's sunny out today!